Cultivating a High Tolerance for Happiness
A friend and I were discussing yesterday how attached humanity is to living life through the relative experience of pain. Our culture is full of euphemisms that reflect this idea. “No pain, no gain”, “The straw that broke the camel’s back”, “We wouldn’t recognize the good without the bad”, “Good things come to those who wait”, “survival of the fittest”. There is an unspoken heroism built into identification with suffering that needs to be abolished from our consciousness if we ever want to experience evolvement into love and freedom. We have come to equate a high pain tolerance with being brave and strong.
Quantum mechanics have proven that we are only able to focus on one thing at a time. There is only one reality that exists with certainty and that is determined by where we put our focus. The magical beauty of our world is that we each have the right and responsibility to create our own reality that serves our needs and intertwines with others’ realities as it further serves the whole. In metaphysics we come to understand that where attention goes energy flows and that where energy flows – that’s what grows. When we continuously turn our focus and attention to what is painful in our lives we further stimulate and encourage the growth of pain, not freedom from it. When we consistently push our buttons to stimulate a painful response and reaction we create the tolerance for pain in the present moment. When we continuously relive past hurts and transgressions we bring them to life in the now. When we engage in repetitive painful emotions and situations we foster the growth of more of the same. Pain begets pain. Like attracts likes.
So many people are waiting for the last straw before they feel they would be able to make the changes they need to make. There is no successful ending possible to this story line. This ‘last straw’ scenario is actually a training program for enduring more pain. In weight training or resistance training you learn how to create strength in your body by adding incremental amounts of weight that you learn to counter balance. In time you become stronger, being able to resist more and more burden. In our day-to-day life the more pain and abuse we learn to live with the stronger we become in carrying and surviving it, and the less willing we become in changing it. We lose our natural bearings. By the time the proverbial last straw is placed we are already damaged. The healing from a ‘broken back’ is very difficult and requires significant time and a mountain of physiotherapy. The damage created in the last straw situation won’t be healed just by walking away from the problem, in fact, you won’t be able to walk away at all, you will crawl away all broken and twisted.
The only way to heal pain is to not tolerate it; by not giving space to pain we won’t allow it to control one more minute of our lives. Pain is actually a powerful efficient teacher for when we’ve gone too far in the wrong direction. Pain should indicate that a change is needed. We must make a pledge to ourselves to live with happiness and love, not anger or resentment, not sadness and grief. We must vow to do what ever we can to step towards joy and freedom and not drag the heavy burdens of yesterday’s pain into our future. Never engage in any task unless you can find the way to do so happily. Never commit to any deed unless can do it with full heartedness.
Please don’t wait for the last straw, shake off your burden of pain today, learn to feel the weight of a single stem of straw, learn to act on your best behalf. Don’t settle for relative happiness; believe in experiencing bliss. No good comes out of having a high pain tolerance, only more pain. Build your pride instead on having a zero pain tolerance and start cultivating the growth of a high joy tolerance instead!