Andrea Thiel Connell

Part of my job is helping people get to what they want in life. The other part of my job is helping people understand what they want to get. This is by far the most challenging piece. Amazingly, people usually don’t know what they want. And even more amazing is that they don’t know they don’t know!

So just to get the ball rolling, I like to pose the questions, “What does your perfect world look like? Who’s in it? What do you do? How do you live? Where do you live? What do you look like” Usually I get answers that paint a very different picture from the life being lived. Sometimes I get I don’t knows, but very rarely do I get the true answer, which is of course – “close to what I got”.

In a perfect world we are not enslaved to live the life we’ve got, we are free to make choices at will that guarantee our happiness every day. In a perfect world we have no worries, no anger, no fear. We are perfectly matched to the love of our life, and have purpose. The stuff of fairy tales and romance novels.

So here’s the rub…our world is perfect. Your world is perfect.

It is the perfect alignment of cause and effect. Like attracts like. What you have in your life is the result of the seeds you have planted and nurtured to thrive. How can it be any more perfect than that?

Your life today is the life you believe in. It’s the life you believe you deserve, it’s the life that makes sense of your choices. Your life today reflects all of the faith you hold in your self, your loved ones, your god, and your past. What ever the struggle, the torment, the pain you suffer you believe in it.

We live in a world of free choice. But instead of making our choices that support our happiness and happily ever after dreams  we do any number of things that screw us up and set us on ‘the wrong’ path. We lie, we cheat, we get hooked on various addictions, we compromise our decision-making by doing what other people want us to do when we don’t want to – from sex, to careers, to marriage, to schedules, to having kids, we give our power away. When you give your power to choose the quality of life away you immediately become aware of feeling that you no longer live in a perfect world. When you believe that someone else’s dream is more important or better than your own you start living in someone else’s version of life and dream.

Come to understand that even when you make a decision to follow someone else – it’s still your choice. Once you get that part, commit to it! Don’t wish otherwise! Accept where you stand! If you don’t like it – change it! Come to independently know your own mind. The world can’t be anymore perfect – you co-created it. You are living your choices. If you understand that and still think you feel trapped and can’t make changes to change your situation then accept it. Don’t torment yourself and others with self-pity. Self pity has a soul shattering dynamic all its’ own that works to serve victimization belief systems. Once you believe you are victimized you are doomed to follow along. Then the serious whining begins!

Instead congratulate yourself on being the master creator of your world – with the power to make choices, look for options, do what you can, understand the compromises you intentionally make and let yourself off the hook. Just stop complaining about it. Work hard at loving your life, at creating a life you love, finding the things you love about your life, and doing the things you love. Anywhere you spend energy in your life (which is everywhere) make it loving energy! Loving thoughts that support your choices will in turn create other options that create more love. Anger, fear, bitterness and resentment may still crop up but just to show you what is still out of alignment. In the loving of your life you will soon be living in a perfect world, all your own with everything you love in it.