New Leaf Mentoring … new thought. new health. new life.

Posts tagged ‘responsibility’

10 Habits of Happy People


Happiness is an ideal that many say they would love to experience to a greater degree in their lives and yet try as they might, it remains distant and elusive. There are interesting commonalities that happy people share. These are not coincidental, they are steadfast choices we get to make as the base line for our lives. First you really need to determine, in front mind, if you truly want to be happy or if you just want to complain about not being happy. If you really want the peace that comes with being genuinely happy keep reading…if you want to complain don’t read any further…you might catch yourself feeling happier by the end of the list and we wouldn’t want to shift your mood without your consent!

1. They feel lucky and privileged to be alive

Happy people are appreciatively amused by their good fortune and celebrate their successes openly and freely with friends and family. Every new day holds a new chance for good luck to find them, and they enjoy even the smallest of win falls.

2. They express gratitude often and sincerely

Happy people tend not to take things for granted. Every gift, blessing or kindness directed toward them feels to be exceptional and important.

3. They practice forgiveness

Happy people don’t hold grudges and work at letting things go. They are more likely to look at their fellow-man compassionately than suspiciously.

4. They give of their time and talents generously and freely

Happy people believe in charity and paying things forward. They will volunteer easily since they have no fear of losing anything.

5. They have a perspective of life that is bigger than just themselves

Happy people often have a perspective of life that takes them far beyond their own lives. They focus on greater, more worldly issues instead of small petty things. They are often directed to a calling to help aid a distressful situation somewhere in the world. They are not afraid of letting their own problems go in light of the big picture.

6. They look at life with wonder and curiousity

Happy people tend to be interested in everything. They are easily enchanted by curiosities and are eager to get involved in new adventures.

7. They place their attention on positive outcomes and possibilities

Happy people try in all situations to be optimistic and cheerful. The expect the best and usually get it. They understand the Law of Attraction and know they would rather attract happy situations than miserable ones.

8. They state an intention to be happy and look for miracles

Happy people look for miracles everywhere. They see the amazing little things that happen every day that ultimately set the big wheels in motion.

9. They respect their lives and enjoy them

Happy people don’t long for things they don’t have but rather set their focus firmly on the blessings of the life they do have and move into full attention to honour and respect and preserve life as they have it. They treat their life and the life of others as a Sacred experience. They care for and preserve the assets in hand.

*10. They understand themselves to be the source of love and happiness

MOST IMPORTANTLY, happy people understand that they themselves are the generators of happiness and strive to share it rather than looking for something or someone outside of themselves to make them happy. They take it upon themselves to create happiness where ever they go and eagerly look for the next chance to smile.

The Hips Don’t Lie


A friend and I were recently talking about how the body manifests very specific aches and pains that always coincide beautifully with the emotional and psychological issues that are happening at any given time. Take for example the condition of Sciatica. Both my friend and I have had to deal with this issue from time to time in our lives. At times it is just a niggling annoying ache and at other times it is debilitating and crippling barely allowing for any kind of movement at all. So – yes, we did something that wretched our poor backs out of alignment, causing the sciatic nerve to become pinched as it travels through the hip and yes, we can take an anti-inflammatory along with alternating hot and cold packs every 5 – 10 minutes and yes of course we can and will do our stretches that open up the hip-joint and gently allow the pieces to all slip quietly gently back into the proper position eventually creating restored balance and relief of pain. But why? Why does this happen when you’ve done nothing out of the ordinary, and why is it that it is so damn frustrating? I know one thing for certain  – the hips don’t lie – and they like every other part of your body they have a story to tell!

When a body part isn’t functioning at it’s best there are always many parts of the story that we need to try to pay attention to and try to accommodate in the healing process if we want to get to the root of the problem. We need to pay attention to the details, specifically to the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of the issue. This is a truly holistic approach to health. When we approach any health issue from a whole perspective we come to know many of the details that will create awareness and most often prevent reoccurrence of the same issue. Mind you, that said, there are certain issues which do recur for us because they are our life issues. They are issues that we will continuely have to keep dealing with from many points of relevance if they are our life’s work. For instance a genetic disease, a chronic recurrent condition, or a syndrome that creates specific limitations that have to be considered everyday. Although the same principles apply, for now we’ll just talk about the daily, ‘accidental’, transient incidents that come and go easily without long-term ramifications. Like sciatica.

So this is how it works:

i) get your journal – that’s that book/pad of paper where you record all the happenings relating to your personal growth – this is a journal moment! Speak/write clearly and fast; not prettily. Do not edit yourself, say what comes to mind, use the vernacular that emerges do not worry about proper grammar, nice language or being politically correct – just call it as you see it. The words that spontaneously spill out of you have a truth all their own. For instance: ‘Sciatica is a pain in the ass! I can hardly move one foot in front of the other’ is much clearer when trying to get to the truth of the thing than saying ‘Sciatica is an intensely painful sensation beginning in the buttocks radiating down my left leg toward my ankle’. Your doctor might prefer this way for diagnosis but we’ve already determined what ails us physically, now we want to know the nitty-gritty of the thing!

ii) Identify all related information – take a look at the body part that is affected, what is the result in the functioning of the part due to the problem, how should the body part normally function and what is being restricted? What could you do before and what can you do now? How does this condition affect the way you live the rest of your life? What does it stop you from doing? What do you have to do to make it stop hurting? What does it permit you to have? In other words – how does it serve you?

iii) Now feel it out. What emotions are stimulated by the problem? Are you frustrated, angry, self-pitying, grief-stricken, beside yourself, worried, whiny? Are you being melodramatic? As you move your body – what happens to the emotions you feel? Move slowly making tiny deliberate micro movements. Pay attention – often there are unresolved emotions locked into old injuries that have never been released. The body will hold on to the emotion in those areas until the day comes when it’s time to release them. A renewed injury may serve simply to remind us to revisit the issue and get it gone! Be careful not to stuff away any emotion that may arise. Keep journaling – even through your tears!

iv) What do you think or believe. Notice your mental reactions to the emotions and to the pain you are feeling. Where do your thoughts take you? Do you tell yourself not to be stupid or weak? Do you listen easily? Does a memory suddenly flash into your mind of something you’ve long forgotten? We tend to live our lives in patterns and rituals – do you remember other times when you had the same experience? Did the injury or pain begin on the anniversary of something? I had a client once who suffered migraine headaches every year around the same time each Spring for approx 10 years- eventually it was discovered that they actually coincided with her mother’s death 15 years earlier. They had had a very unhappy relationship and there were many things that were left unsaid with her passing. After a very emotional outpouring of past resentments and betrayals she discovered that not only did she love her Mother very much but that she was also punishing herself for not having made amends before her mother died. This was her way of suffering in atonement for her guilt of not setting the record straight before her death. The migraines never came back.

I have had many clients over the years that start developing health problems after a certain age just because their parents and grand parents did. They unconsciously believed that there came ‘an age’ where you just naturally started to fall apart – after all they had heard it said millions of times. When they realized the pattern they were able to quickly re-establish themselves as healthy, vibrant and pain free. We are all programmed to believe certain things about our selves and our bodies from body image to function that are not necessarily true in real life yet we create conditions and circumstances that seem to validate the opinion. Learn to become really aware of what you ‘think and believe’ about yourself. Every pain has a story that hasn’t been told yet. Be patient with yourself and the story will reveal itself.

v) Let Love and Forgiveness flow. Every pain also represents a lack of faith in your perfection and gives credence to a weakness. Your divine nature understands you are perfect and accepts every opportunity as one in which to learn and grow. When we stop learning and growing we experience pain. Ask yourself what have I lost faith in? Why do I want to stay stuck in this moment rather than move freely forward? When we are in pain we have lost an ability to love ourselves in some measure. Ask yourself why? Are you willing to love yourself back to health? Are you willing to believe that you are worth loving as you are? Can you practice forgiveness and acceptance toward yourself. One client was experiencing recurrent bladder and urinary infections every few months for no apparent reason. After doing the steps above she realized that she had been ‘pissy’ to all her loved ones causing grief and hostility whenever she spoke. She was behaving this way because she had lost a sense of her own purpose and life direction and was creating small conflicts everywhere to stay distracted rather than face her own perceived inadequacies. Through love and forgiveness directed at herself she came to find an enjoyable path and she stopped creating painful infections and interactions.

The Truth Will Set You Free of Pain

Does this seem like a lot of work? – it’s not actually. Discovery of the truth really happens very quickly once you learn not to be afraid of it. When the ego can step down for a moment and not defensively protect it’s right to feel pain we can learn to really just get over it!

So Sciatica – well – it turns out it’s a matter of integrity – do you walk your talk?  As you are growing and learning are you still walking your talk? Low back issues are related to support issues and usually support issues related to money. Our hips are our gross motor functions on how we move forward in the world. Our knees and ankles are finer motor skills relating to manoeuverability but our hips direct our movement forward in life. When we have sciatica we are choosing to ignore a vital piece of our truth and usually are trying to push ahead or through a situation without considering the whole truth. Our conflict appears in our inability to take a step that is in harmony for our highest good or in alignment with our highest truth. Our sacrum represents the cradle of our life, our security and our core strengths, when we ignore our fundamental truths and are acting outside of our core truth we experience a mis-alignment which causes our bodies to shut down in pain. Usually it’s the feminine softer issues that are being ignored as the masculine energy power drives us forward toward a plan contrived in the mind. Depending on where the bulk of the localized pain is felt will give further clues, ie; low back relates to financial support issues, rear buttocks relates to ability to move freely, knees to choices and decisions, feet to ability to step forward etc. AND…It’s so damn frustrating because you KNOW intuitively that you aren’t living in your truth! There are many books available as fine resources to help you with clues – one of the best is Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life or Heal Your Body.

Generally speaking these types of problems are easily solved with self loving supportive treatments like, stretching – which gives permission to move safely, hot/cold packs, baths and wraps – for nurturing and contact, and just plain listening to what the body has to say about what ails you. The body doesn’t lie and it is intimately connected to all the happenings of your life. Every thing that has ever happened to you is stored in the cellular memory bank that is your body. With enough patience and self-directed loving kindness we can access our stories, belief systems and fears simply by listening well – just like you would for a best friend.

In the Universal Flow of Unconditional Love


All concepts of how we express ourselves are shifting as we approach the dawning of a new era, especially how we engage with the dynamics of love and fear. Up until now we understood that to hold a feeling of love for our fellow beings is a high vibrating ideal and one to actively pursue, while fear is commonly accepted as a low-frequency vibration. Consciousness is now rapidly shifting toward the understanding of Oneness. We are collectively being asked to release ourselves from angry, painful, worry-filled systems of thought, and step into the understanding of unconditional love. This is not as simple as we like to think. We have all been inundated with thought patterns, belief systems and scare tactics that expound the devastating realism of a world destined for doom. Fear is a challenging and overbearing presence to conquer. But conquer it we must.

Understanding Unconditional Love in a Dualistic Real World View

Love and fear are the opposite expressions of heart energy. Unconditional love and unconditional fear represent the extreme polar ends of one paradigm. Unconditional love doesn’t accept weakness and fear as real, it sees past it, through it and beyond it. All fear disintegrates when exposed to the light of pure love. They simply cannot co-exist in the same space. In love there is nothing to fear. Likewise, when locked in paralyzing fear you are not loving. Fear dominates and creates such extreme darkness that the light of love isn’t even visible.

Fact is most people have had very little real world experience with unconditional love. We’re still locked in a learning curve. Most people still hold expectations around their ‘unconditional’ love and it’s no wonder. We live in a real world of conditions and expectations. We live in a dimensional plane of time lines, schedules and due dates. The real physical world functions around the exchange of value; money or barter for service/commodity. We hold and share love in this same way.

Unconditional Love–>    <–Unconditional Fear

We’ve been learning how to be in love. The energies of the past 2000 years of the Picean Age under the directive of the Christ consciousness have allowed us to engage with life interactively as our energies flowed freely between love and fear. We learned how to maintain the flavour of each within the experience of either. We touched on our fears while simultaneously feeling love. If we were smart we tried to learn to appreciate our own weaknesses and strengths through the continuous interplay of these energies. In understanding that as we held fear for others we were merely projecting our own inadequacies, we opened the opportunity for deep personal healing. Our fear belongs to us alone and we have no right to lay it over someone else’s experience. Most people experienced a relatively small cycle of love/fear flowing through a balanced point of energy. The challenge has been precisely to achieve and maintain a balanced state of being between these two dynamics. But now as we approach 2012 and a fuller expression of the Aquarian Age, the stakes of the game have been raised.

We are currently in the process of shifting consciousness to the emergent dynamic of Oneness. Those of us who can hear this message of universal oneness and are willing to embrace its’ poignancy are being asked to step up our integrity to be impeccable in the way we perpetuate this vibration of unconditional love. It is a time of faith and action. It’s time to walk the talk. And time to surrender fully to the light! In Oneness we are being asked to shift our attention to the radiant, omniscient consciousness of unconditional love.

A Paradigm Shift: A World in Oneness


I can see your virtual warm and fuzzy smiles at the mere thought of oozing your unconditional love to all and sundry. So consider this…

The opposite of Love is Fear.

If we are truly in unconditional love then we are in a fear less state of being.

Got it?

More love -> Less fear.

therefore:

Unconditional love = Fearlessness

So now…ask yourself again…how often are you truly in a state of unconditional love…how easily do you slip into fear, for yourself, for your loved ones, for strangers? It is easier for most people to ‘feel’ an unconditional love for people that they are not personally invested in. This is not ‘unconditional love’ however, it is ‘not giving a damn’ – they are not the same thing. The closer people get to their own gene pool and hence their own heart the more difficult it is to remain unconditional. To truly maintain ‘unconditional love’ means to be able to maintain the vibe under every extreme condition, under the worst circumstances. Remember, love is a high frequency emanation – fear a low one. Love will always conquer fear if love is unconditional. When love is shaded with doubt, fear and worry it is not pure, it is tainted by darkness and doesn’t have the power to conquer anything. Only complete pure unconditional love will conquer all.

Why Bother You Ask?

The emergent consciousness is grounded in Oneness. Through this new experience of Oneness we will surely learn what it is to share universal life force energy unreservedly. We will come to understand that we cannot harm another sentient being without causing harm to ourselves. And if we learn our lessons well we will come to experience unparalleled growth, health, harmony and unconditional love. Jose Arguelles in his video “2012 – Circumpolar Rainbow Bridge” [see below] encourages us to create a positive dynamic energy that must be equal to and beyond the negative force caused by the atomic bomb if we want to evolve past our current state of being. Our planet is currently, officially in an unsustainable state. On this current path of negativity, war, political dominance, uncontrolled consumerism and blatant greed we are destined to fail as a species and as a planet. Will love save us? As a physical species and presence in our Solar System – perhaps. As spiritual entities connected to an evolving God consciousness – unequivocably YES!

The last several decades have shown innumerable tribes of healers emerging all over our planet. More and more we are recognizing our individual powers and desire to heal ourselves, each other and our planet. Indeed we are proving to the world and our universe that we are Healers. Consider that our little blue and green gem ‘Earth’ is a healing oasis floating in the universe – a cosmic training ground for healers of all descriptions. Consider that potentially Earth is actually destined to be a lush safe place to grow, to learn and to evolve as spiritual beings and that unconditional love is our way! Imagine what it would be like if we were able to successfully create an omniscient energy of complete unconditional love, compassion and acceptance on a worldwide scale. Perhaps it is our Destiny to offer our services of healing to the cosmos.

Let’s focus all our love-filled intent to become the planet for universal healing. Human beings are delicate, fragile, vulnerable physical beings. But when you add our vastly creative minds and our abundant compassionate hearts to the mix you begin to realize the fantastic potential we hold to biologically, electrically, and magnetically shift reality into an unprecedented glorious manifestation of vibrant health.

If we’re going to be Healers – let’s do it with all the Unconditional Love we can muster!

A Reason for Everything…Let it Go!


I talk a lot about letting go and people nod, nod, nod and then shake their heads in hopeless confusion. Let go how? of what? when? and why? It seems an impossible concept to grasp. “How can I let go? Doesn’t everything happen for a reason? What if I let go of the wrong thing?” It’s a conundrum. In a societal, cultural structure that has told us to achieve, acquire, collect and attain it is a challenging concept to wrap our noodles around. We’ve been taught to grab on to that brass ring and never let go. And we’ve learned well…we hold on to our hearts, our feelings, our thoughts and belief systems, our ways, and our stuff.

Unfortunately, holding on to things is contradictory to the process of life. Everything in our world is impermanent. Every thing will rot, it will decay, it will die or it will simply change. To make sense of our lives as they are we try to create meaning around our things, our belief systems, our habits and the happenings of our lives. By creating reasons we give ourselves permission to hold on to things. On one hand we want to be free of the linear systems and on the other we try madly to recreate them forward. In one breath we try to be creative and open and in the next breath we are already trying to stuff everything into line where it makes sense. We are always trying to understand things from a meaningful point of view, from a reasonable perspective. Reason, after all, is what makes sense of this world and of us. Reasons assign the value of every thing and every happening. When tragic things happen we imploringly want to know why.  Unfortunately in determining reasons we can often lose the magic of the moment.

My Mind Says That There Is A Reason for Everything

There have been many times in my life when I have congratulated myself on being even-tempered, non-emotional, logical and reasonable. I am often able to see both sides of a situation, and be very sympathetic to the other persons’ position. I have prided myself on having big shoulders and bearing the burden in a situation because it seems easier for me to carry the load than passing the responsibility on to the appropriate shoulders. My very clever mind has always been extraordinarily good at ‘understanding reasons’ and creating reasonable projections into the future. My very clever mind, however, has not always been very good at just being with what was without reasons. I am learning. I am finding it’s enough to just be. I am discovering that often when we jump on the reason train we escape a situation before we’ve had time to really feel it out.

We use reasons to blame, to find fault, to create acceptance, to excuse behaviour and to create purpose. Can you accept your life and all the pieces in it without having a reason for them? Does that sound unreasonable to you? Can you accept a blessing without asking why or what for? Can you be present to another’s unbearable pain without trying to find a silver lining reason or purpose for it? These reason-making exercises are just occupations of a clever mind. Let go the need to explain, the need to project, the need to plan, the need to understand, or the need to know. Believe me life goes on without having reasons.

Fact is there may never be known reasons for everything no matter what my mind likes to think. We live in a cause and effect reality. Everything that happens stems from something. In this dualistic reality we can expect this to be the way it’s going to keep playing out. So we can effectively look behind us and see how things led to this moment but we have to be very careful how we extrapolate the present moment in to the future. Equations that cause effects that look like reasons don’t necessarily belong projected into the future. Sometimes it is simply more prudent to take the mind off the job and let the heart guide the way. Let go your reasons and have a little faith!

Heart Will Lead Us Down Uncharted Paths

When we search for and create reasons for events or situations we limit outcomes. We dictate a flow of energy that makes sense to our own minds for our own purposes. By determining a possibility we limit its’ whole expression.  The value of any moment is to be with it in the moment as fully and as emotionally as possible. The heart will authentically guide us toward our next moment. We may be able to come up with reasons to create the next step but this is unnecessary. When we breathe in and out we don’t think of when the next breath will come, we don’t think how to take the next breath, we usually simply allow it to arise when it needs to. When the body needs to breathe it will.  The naturally ever balancing aspect of our bodies and of our universe is to accept the moment fully as it is, feel the most personal relevancy in the moment and allow the next moment to swell up automatically without dictation or direction. Have faith that it will. The Heart that is connected to all the rhythm and synchronicity of the universe will in fact guide us perfectly.

There have been many times in my life when I have mollified myself by saying that everything happens for a reason. In hindsight I realize that most of these ‘reasons’ were simply excuses to avoid looking at the real issue, or to avoid doing what actually needed doing or even to avoid just sitting still. Sometimes we inadvertently build convoluted rational mazes just to keep ourselves from making the appropriate intuitive choice.

I have a couple of friends right now that are suffering in their need to take the next step yet are unable to figure out how, where or why. They are looking for reasons, for explanations and for purpose. So focused are they on there being a reason for their discomfort that they are unable to see that they are creating the bulk of their discomfort simply by not moving with the natural ‘swelling’ of the next moment. Their pain is caused by trying to validate their past experience as a reason for something else, they cling desperately to the past hoping for a different outcome.

Move On ! Let It Go!

So when I say let go I mean let go of your logic, let go of your reason making, let go of your need to understand why, let go of your mind needing to figure it out. When people experience emptiness in their lives, they struggle to fill it with something that made them feel good in the past. The approval from others, the love from others, recognition in success, or some other kind of validation. Leave all these things in the past, leave them in their time, let go and move forward. Allow the magical unknown nature of our Universe to blow a new possibility into your reality. Realize that you are pulling a sled of used up experiences with you that make no sense in the future. Let the new moment be fresh, filled with new life force. Let it swell up inside you with the next breath. It will.

Reiki: A Discovery of Self-Empowerment


I came across Reiki one day back in 1995 while giving a talk about herbs and organic gardening. Up until that minute I had never even heard of it, and in the last 16 years since then I haven’t experienced one minute without it. There was an instant recognition that Reiki and I somehow belonged together, but I was gun-shy about joining into any belief system and literally ran in the other direction. It took me a full year before I was willing to entertain the idea of learning Reiki.

Doubtful Beginnings

I’m a self-starting kind of person, I have always been self-employed and have always called my own shots. I have always felt very strongly about maintaining my independence and helping myself, and although I was at a point in my life where I needed a new perspective and certainly some help from somewhere I just couldn’t wrap my head around a nebulous healing modality that was based in channeling energy. I did however, eventually take the courses and immediately understood myself to be engaged in a very personal discovery of self-empowerment. I felt better about it then. When I could feel the power of Reiki in my own core, in my own hands and use it for myself I was hooked. I determined to find out as much as I could about it and tried to experience it in every aspect of my life. Certainly Reiki was something I could share with others, but most importantly I could use it for myself.

The first degree of Reiki teaches us about self-treatment. Not only are you given a treatment protocol that teaches you how the give yourself Reiki, it also teaches us the value of doing so. Reiki gives us  5 precepts, that when practiced serve to awaken ourselves to peaceful ways, compassion and tolerance. In Reiki you become attuned to a vibration of energy that is highly organized and intelligent. It immediately stimulates the body to search out health and healthy patterns.

Reiki, Me and the Rest of Creation

I practice Reiki today because I am concerned for the well-being of humanity and our earth. I am fascinated by the possibility that we can change the world, indeed our future by the way we think, feel and of course behave. But all behaviour stems in thought and belief systems. I had been exposed to the power of the subconscious mind, positive thinking and creative visualization since childhood and began actively working with these concepts as a young adulthood. As I’ve grown and matured – [which is code for gotten older and made a lot of mistakes] – I began getting smarter and less controlling with my practice. I gradually began to understand the power of surrender, patience and ease. My Reiki practice gave me ample opportunities to experience suffering, pain and hardships from a new perspective of choice, non-attachment and opportunity.  I learned to observe without meddling, I learned to give Reiki treatments without minding my clients’ business, I learned to remain unattached to their outcomes, their journeys and their pain. I focused instead on the perfect principle of health that presides in our bodies and universe. When I do this – focusing on the health in any situation – health blossoms. It’s that old adage in action: where attention goes energy flows. I practice on myself – diligently. I understand that  the change I want to see in the world starts with me!

I discovered that in every broken down body, in every situation of despair and suffering and in every circumstance of perceived failure is opportunity, healing, and success. In Reiki we are able to access that Divine aspect of ourselves that has not forgotten our greatness and our truest soul purpose. In Reiki we can learn to restore our intuition and natural vitality to create sustainable life for ourselves and our children. By empowering all that is Divine on our bodies, hearts and minds we align ourselves with the highest creative forces of our universe. Creative energy is omnipotent, and while it belongs to everyone equally it can not be harnessed and controlled by one for another. Awakening your creative energy is personally empowering, and personally gratifying.

Reiki empowers people in their strength and their spiritual resilience. We remember our greatness in Reiki. We become awakened to the Divine aspect of ourselves and our boundless limitless potential to be healthy, creative and vibrant entities.

Reiki; Part of the Solution

Many years have passed and Reiki is still a daily part of my life. Although I am a Reiki Master which means I am able to teach and attune others to this amazing modality, in my heart I am and will always remain a student and practitioner of Reiki. I meditate and give myself t daily still. Reiki offers us a very simple technique to build a relationship with peace that sits in our core. Reiki meets us where we live. Where ever we are at Reiki can be without question, without judgment. Reiki offers us a new attitude with which to negotiate a challenging world and difficult stressful life situations. Everyone can learn Reiki – and at the risk of passing a judgment everyone should! The world would be a very different place.

I am offering a One day Workshop – ‘Reiki+ Meditation; Help Yourself with Basics’ to introduce self-help techniques for stress, worry, and chronic pain. See above under Upcoming Events for more details.

Can You Get There From Here?


In a writing course I learned the need for a good strong headline. What do you offer? What do you promise? Do you know? Do you fulfill those promises to your readership? Yes this is vital to good copy writing but it occurred to me that this is a statement that is vitally relevant to the whole of our lives with regards to being authentic.

We make promises every day . We might not use those exact words in our daily negotiations but they are implied none-the-less. Are you good to your word? Do you do what you say? The bigger questions is; are you living authentically? Do you say what you mean and mean what you say? Or do you spend your energy hedging, vaguely implying, reneging, and back paddling?

Are you who you say you are? Are you who you want to be? Can you get there from here? If we’re not on the right road we can’t get where we’re going. Which means if you aren’t living intentionally in your best interests you will not end up with a life that looks after your best interests. If you are living ambiguously, being acquiescent to the best interests of others especially when in conflict to your own, you reduce your own chances of ever getting where you want to go in life.

Some people, in order to avoid disappointing others, simply resist voicing any kind of commitment at all. Never voicing an opinion, never speaking against the popular grain, never allowing one contrary thought to escape their lips they struggle to stay agreeable at all costs, even if their own inner voice is screaming loudly in protest. It’s sad really, we’re not supposed to agree all the time. We are each uniquely creative beings, with our own input, own interpretation, and own way to manifest. It’s our inborn responsibility to be ourselves and to stand up for ourselves; not to bully, but not to flounder weakly either. Just to be, honest to goodness, ourselves.

In Reiki we have a precept that says, just for today earn your living honestly. This precept speaks to this idea of personal authenticity. Are you who you say you are and in your relationships with others, personal or business, do you fulfill your end of the bargain with your highest integrity. Come to understand what your various roles in relationships are and what the promises you make, spoken or unspoken, are. Are you being true to yourself or have you forsaken yourself for others?

I’ve learned a lot this past year – I had a good teachers; my 20-year-old daughter, my 19-year-old son, and my newly 19-year-old daughter. Each of my kids have taught me a great deal about life and living life with authenticity. They think I’ve been parenting them and I have tried my best to be a good parent and strong role model but the secret is I’ve taken my cues from them. They’ve taught me patience, tolerance, acceptance, but most of all they have taught me the value of self-expression and independent ‘being-ness’.

My eldest stands up for herself with impeccability always and is never bullied into blind acceptance in any situation.  Along the way she demands that others be accountable for themselves. This has left her alone at times – but never lonely. She knows who she is and likes it. Her path lays out before her clearly with right timing and right placement.

My middle one deliberately forges a path for himself on a daily basis, without judging the ways of others he leads by example, earning respect and admiration from his coworkers and friends in new ways every day. He is never alone – but never lost in the crowd either. He lives a life of moments that are richly filled with opportunity.

My youngest sings loudly, always! She sings joyously whether she is intimidated, overcome by butterflies or terrified. She knows her happiness and purpose depends on being able to be what she is best. She allows herself to naturally gravitate to her best situation in all times. She goes where she is loved and can love freely without fear of losing herself.

They each, with great determination, stand up with integrity for who they are. They know who they want to be when they grow up and are living that reality today with each moment. Are you?

So just for the record…this blog, “New Days ~ New Ways” is precisely about that. I believe that we are entering an era of history of vast personal expansion for the good of the One. The promise with this blog is to provide new ways of thinking, coping, growing, expanding and being that leave us empowered to participate fully in these new days we find ourselves living in. And YES we can get there from here!!

Freeing the Soul into your Life


I am a high-achiever and I am ambitious. It’s my nature. When I was younger I was strongly motivated by praise and approval from others, today I strive for excellence regardless of the praise or approval I receive from others. Over time I began to see that my path differed uniquely from the path of others and began to understand that my happiness depended on me owning my own authority. I began to learn to listen to my own soul to guide me towards my right path.

In the beginning listening to my soul was tricky because I didn’t know how to do it – we weren’t in a good relationship. I had never considered that my soul would have a different story than my ego self did. My mind, my emotions and my soul coexisted within this physical body of mine but no-body was communicating with the other bodies. Until I discovered the presence of each body with in my whole expression the channels of communication went something like this: my mind working in cahoots with my ego self would make executive decisions on behalf of the whole, the emotions would react accordingly and the physical body would act out with strength or with pain as it could to support the whole body consensus. As you can imagine, and probably identify with, there was considerable unrest in the house at all times. Pain in my body made me stop ‘doing’ and start ‘being’. In the physical stillness that followed my thoughts initially became manic, unconscious thought began to rise through the fog to be heard, conscious thoughts vied for attention, the ego stubbornly struggled to stay engaged and in control,  emotions stirred and made themselves felt, some for the first time. Underneath it all the quiet voice of the soul could be heard whispering direction and advice. Mental, emotional, spiritual turmoil ensued. Life seemed out of control and very challenging without the normal strategy of ‘doing’ something to shut everything up. Intrigued (and frightened) by the madness  flowing through my life I vowed to keep listening and determined not to fall back into my old coping mechanisms. I knew I couldn’t go back but I also didn’t know how to move forward. If you don’t know what to do  – do nothing…so I became very, very still and I learned to observe, listen and learn.

Emotions need only to be acknowledged honestly for them to be satisfied, but the mind needs to be heard. Excuses, contradictions, logical arguments, insane belief systems, all guide and camouflage the truth of spirit trying to express itself. Patiently, like trying to coax a shy kitten out of a hiding place you have to convince the soul that you mean no harm, that you will listen, that you are finally willing to act in its best interest. Slowly the relationship with my soul started to mend. I came to know myself in new ways; my triggers, my fears, my true pleasures, my motivations and my capacity to live a soulful, heart centered life. My intuitions grew stronger and more dependable, my knee jerk instinct to react lessened, I could breathe and wait, I didn’t take everything personally, my ego began to disengage from every exchange allowing my spirit the room to emerge. I began to feel peace. I began to feel creative as never before.

I have often wondered how my life would be if I could have brought this knowledge of life into my life in architecture and construction. Or into my life as the organic herb farmer. But it is what it is. All in good time. All exactly as it played out was important for the revealing of my soul in my life. I like the idea that we are Spiritual beings living a physical experience – but we also need to strive to empower our spiritual self otherwise we will find ourselves living soul-less materialistic physical lives burdened with the struggle and pain of trying to maintain an impermanent reality.

So how can you recognize when your soul is freely engaging in the process of your life? You feel purposeful, engaged, patient and satisfied. You realize you risk nothing by being fully present. You feel anywhere from a vague to a strong sense of connectedness, a remembering of a promise. You feel really big, unlimited, and optimistic. Limitations are part of a language you no longer speak. You are not overwhelmed by the physicality of your life. You feel nourished, nurtured and loved.

And with this awareness coursing through your life you feel the impulse to nourish, nurture and love others.

In the End It’s Still My Choice…All Things Considered


People have choice. It’s our birthright. We come to life and have the responsibility to make the choices in life that suit us. And that’s a blessing. I’m really glad that I get to make my own choices but I’m  also constantly surprised by how hard it is to make my own choices. In every choice I make I consider tons of people, issues and possibilities. And this is also our responsibility, to be actively conscious of the repercussions of our personal choices. As much as we are free agents we are still ultimately responsible to our partners, families, friends, community and consciousness on the whole. Heavy baggage!

It’s no wonder that we’ll grab opportunities to let someone else make our choices for us. Sometimes we just want a break. Letting someone else decide for us let’s us off the hook temporarily and it’s nice to feel looked after – like I said…temporarily. The way someone else makes choices, how they consider things, how they weigh the value of factors either appeals to us or doesn’t. It determines the success of our partnerships in business and marriage, it determines how well we play with others, it determines how well we raise our children.

Making decisions is a powerful responsibility. Invariably what we decide will also determine the fate of others. It can’t be helped. The quality of our life is determined by the quality of the decisions we make.  It becomes very important to know what you stand for. What are your morals, ethics and values about life? What do you condone, tolerate, and hold in esteem? If you can come to understand what is truly important to you and what is not, you will create a guideline for your life. When you have that it is much easier to know how to make your decisions.

Come to know where your weaknesses lie, where you need help in making decisions, where you need to trust others almost completely. Not choosing to decide is still a decision – probably one of the most important stands you’ll ever make. When we give all our power over to someone else to decide in our stead, we better be able to trust them implicitly. They hold our life in their hands and they better be strong enough to carry us. When we give that power to someone weaker than us we will surely fall. I’ve seen people choose to do exactly that just so they can ferociously lay blame and fault, not realizing that it was their own fault for giving up their right to choose.

In marriage we have to decide our decision-making roles. Do you like to be led, do you like to lead, do you need to need a partner with whom to hammer out solutions with? Or more likely it’s a mix of the three. Do you know over which issues you like to assume which hat? Do you realize what your emotional triggers are that ultimately drive the choices you make. I’ll give you a hint; fear and love are the driving forces behind all decisions. Making good choices depends directly on how willing and ready we are to look and accept the truth of a situation. If we are continuously making bad decisions with miserable outcomes we have to look at what our personal motivation is. Another hint: behind every bad decision lies a mountain of fear. It’s fascinating how blind to the mountain we can become.

The thing with making decisions is while we are dealing with very personal, close to the heart kind of decisions we also have to keep our eyes fixed on the greater good. There are usually people watching, waiting, knowing they are going to be influenced by your decision, usually our children, partners and co-workers, and they are learning. They are not just idly sitting by twiddling their thumbs. Based on how you make your choices they will learn how to make theirs. Where you are weak, they will be strong, where you are wobbly, they will learn to manipulate, where you waffle they will decide. Even in weakness you have responsibility, you just won’t have the power to look after your highest good!

We exert our power in our life through the decisions or lack of decisions we make. It’s your choice!

Emotional Responsibility


In the healing business you can expect to hear a ton of stories about the pain, suffering and abuse people endure. It’s a vital part of the healing process for people to share their stories and release repressed and suppressed emotions out of their bodies and energy fields . Many alternative and complementary modalities are based on doing precisely just that; releasing repressed emotions out of the body. Held in emotions of shame, anger, grief, worry, fear can play havoc on a body’s immune system and eventually lead to a whole host of physical problems. And although it is shocking to hear some of the outrageous things people are capable of perpetrating against one another it never fails to amaze me how easily and willing we are to hurt someone else. It’s not just the act, but the desire to cause hurt comes so easily to so many people.

It seems to be human nature that when we hurt we need and want others to feel the same pain. It’s that old adage: Misery loves company. But bottom line it is grossly unfair and spiritually irresponsible to draw others into our negative emotion cycles. We don’t have the right to make others miserable because we don’t want or can’t find the way to resolve our own emotional pain. If your intention is to heal your wounds and you are willing to trust another to guide you back to the land of the positive then share as honestly and as openly as you can. But if all you really want is to feel validated in your misery and insist on recruiting sympathies against the person you are mad at you are abusing your confidant. Of course in that moment you don’t really get how abusive it is, all you’re focused on, in that moment, is the need to spread the grief. Wallowing in pain however is a dead end street. It gets you nowhere. And you will find that eventually you will be standing nowhere all alone!

Depression is one thing, but spinning in a bad mood and trying to take every one else down with you is another. We have a moral and ethical responsibility to others, especially the ones we love, to try to stay as positive as possible. I don’t mean being cheerful when you feel angry, worried and confused. Using negative words, being argumentative, picking fights, goading others into being nasty, demeaning others just to vent your aggravation is cruel and harmful for all parties concerned or bitterly trying to convince others to gang up on another. We live in an over stressed society, to add to another’s stress level is incouragable. We need to try harder to be genuinely nice to people. They deserve it. Strangers we meet out on the street don’t deserve to be treated with rudeness, disrespect or aggressive bad behaviour no matter how they treat us. Be the bigger person! We need to treat others with kindness, respect and friendliness.

Another old saying is ‘if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all’ but let’s face it, how can you find justice without complaint? So if you are truly looking for justice ask yourself this; ‘can this person I’m talking to help me understand what’s going on and am I truly looking for resolution – or am I just bitching to anyone who is too polite to hang up the phone or walk away from me while I rant?’ Words and emotions have energy. We use them to create effect in other people. Before you go shooting off your mouth hold some awareness about the power you are wielding. Loose tongues cut deeply – and in the end it will be you that falls with greatest pain.