New Leaf Mentoring … new thought. new health. new life.

Posts tagged ‘peace of mind’

A Promise to Myself

Several years ago I discovered that I needed a blueprint that I could follow on a daily basis to build my spiritual growth by. Some of these things I was already easily doing, others I needed to remind myself of. I put them all in a list, pinned it up on my wall and read it many times a day! I promised myself to follow my list. I noticed that the days I felt low and crappy were the days I wasn’t following my promise. And I also noticed that following my ‘promise’ list would pick me up out of any depression and immediately shift my mood into a happy, stable place again. Try it for yourself!

My Promise to Myself

Today I will…

~ meditate 10 minutes in mindful awareness and silence.
~ journal one thought, idea or feeling.
~ express gratitude.
~ notice one beautiful thing.
~ appreciate someone else for something.
~ receive a blessing.
~ let go of something.
~ meet another with compassion.
~ do something kind for me.
~ pray for the wellbeing of one other person.
~ have faith that everything is in good hands.


Beating Stress

Beating Stress While Creating A New Balance

Life is crazy busy. It can be a real juggling act just trying to keep things floating along relatively smoothly but sometimes it’s impossible! Sometimes it seems that no matter how you try to plan and try to stay organized there’s just no way and before you know it you’re chasing your tail, burning the candle from both ends, and feeling defeated before you even got out of the gate. That balance beam you are usually walking on suddenly turned into a high wire act without a safety net. Suddenly you find yourself in a situation that is possibly dangerous, probably not worth it, and definitely stressful. Stress is the greatest side effect of trying to maintain balance in our hectic lives. Stress is the major cause of illness, breakdowns, and ultimate failure in our lives today.

The problem though, is this; people don’t understand balance and don’t value harmony enough in our modern-day life. There are 3 main obstacles to achieving balance.

* Trying to please too many other people; Learn to say ‘no’. It’s nice to receive recognition from others but once we start this game of looking after others’ needs we will soon find that praise doesn’t cover it when we are sadly falling behind in our own duties and chores and struggling to catch up. Find the value for yourself in all that you do before you do it or just say no.
  * Prioritizing; letting the tail wag the dog. Running around putting out fires, dealing with the wrong things first, letting others determine what needs to be done in a day will leave you exhausted before you even get started. Make a list of 6 things that you must achieve in a day, start at the top and plow through them until they are finished. You will realize a sense of personal accomplishment and feel stronger to take on the other tasks that are of less priority but are important to your sense of well-being. Take charge of your life and learn to be the dog wagging his tail.
* Not honoring personal need requirements; relinquishing down time, i.e. naps, meditations, massages, etc. Somehow we have learned as a culture that it is too selfish to look after your needs first. You are the center of your universe, which does not mean that if you sit down for 5 minutes your world will collapse. It means that you get to choose to take care of you too.

When we don’t keep these three things in perspective we can lose sight of our selves and our health very quickly. When we become exhausted we work less efficiently, less effectively, we lose our good humor, we become pessimistic, and eventually, gradually start causing pain and discomfort in our lives. Health, wealth and happiness suffer in a life without balance.

Taking Back Control
To become empowered in our own lives we must establish ourselves as being worthy of self-care, we need to accept ourselves as being as important as everyone else and we need to learn to honor our own feel good requirements as imperative to our well-being. As you become stronger in looking after your needs better, you will find your stress levels going down, time expanding and life becoming more enjoyable.

To find balance and establish harmony give your self permission to weigh each demand on your time and energy by asking yourself these 4 simple questions;

i) Will this make a positive difference to my life or someone I care a great deal about?

ii) Will this simplify my day or complicate my day?

iii) Will this add to my happiness or to my stress level?

iv) Will this add to the overall quality of my life today?

I challenge you to keep it simple. Refrain from over complicating your life with a lot of ‘yeah but’s’. Stop falling for the excuses that keep you away from experiencing peace of mind, balance and harmony. Decide right now to have a great day!

10 Habits of Happy People

Happiness is an ideal that many say they would love to experience to a greater degree in their lives and yet try as they might, it remains distant and elusive. There are interesting commonalities that happy people share. These are not coincidental, they are steadfast choices we get to make as the base line for our lives. First you really need to determine, in front mind, if you truly want to be happy or if you just want to complain about not being happy. If you really want the peace that comes with being genuinely happy keep reading…if you want to complain don’t read any further…you might catch yourself feeling happier by the end of the list and we wouldn’t want to shift your mood without your consent!

1. They feel lucky and privileged to be alive

Happy people are appreciatively amused by their good fortune and celebrate their successes openly and freely with friends and family. Every new day holds a new chance for good luck to find them, and they enjoy even the smallest of win falls.

2. They express gratitude often and sincerely

Happy people tend not to take things for granted. Every gift, blessing or kindness directed toward them feels to be exceptional and important.

3. They practice forgiveness

Happy people don’t hold grudges and work at letting things go. They are more likely to look at their fellow-man compassionately than suspiciously.

4. They give of their time and talents generously and freely

Happy people believe in charity and paying things forward. They will volunteer easily since they have no fear of losing anything.

5. They have a perspective of life that is bigger than just themselves

Happy people often have a perspective of life that takes them far beyond their own lives. They focus on greater, more worldly issues instead of small petty things. They are often directed to a calling to help aid a distressful situation somewhere in the world. They are not afraid of letting their own problems go in light of the big picture.

6. They look at life with wonder and curiousity

Happy people tend to be interested in everything. They are easily enchanted by curiosities and are eager to get involved in new adventures.

7. They place their attention on positive outcomes and possibilities

Happy people try in all situations to be optimistic and cheerful. The expect the best and usually get it. They understand the Law of Attraction and know they would rather attract happy situations than miserable ones.

8. They state an intention to be happy and look for miracles

Happy people look for miracles everywhere. They see the amazing little things that happen every day that ultimately set the big wheels in motion.

9. They respect their lives and enjoy them

Happy people don’t long for things they don’t have but rather set their focus firmly on the blessings of the life they do have and move into full attention to honour and respect and preserve life as they have it. They treat their life and the life of others as a Sacred experience. They care for and preserve the assets in hand.

*10. They understand themselves to be the source of love and happiness

MOST IMPORTANTLY, happy people understand that they themselves are the generators of happiness and strive to share it rather than looking for something or someone outside of themselves to make them happy. They take it upon themselves to create happiness where ever they go and eagerly look for the next chance to smile.

Freeing the Soul into your Life

I am a high-achiever and I am ambitious. It’s my nature. When I was younger I was strongly motivated by praise and approval from others, today I strive for excellence regardless of the praise or approval I receive from others. Over time I began to see that my path differed uniquely from the path of others and began to understand that my happiness depended on me owning my own authority. I began to learn to listen to my own soul to guide me towards my right path.

In the beginning listening to my soul was tricky because I didn’t know how to do it – we weren’t in a good relationship. I had never considered that my soul would have a different story than my ego self did. My mind, my emotions and my soul coexisted within this physical body of mine but no-body was communicating with the other bodies. Until I discovered the presence of each body with in my whole expression the channels of communication went something like this: my mind working in cahoots with my ego self would make executive decisions on behalf of the whole, the emotions would react accordingly and the physical body would act out with strength or with pain as it could to support the whole body consensus. As you can imagine, and probably identify with, there was considerable unrest in the house at all times. Pain in my body made me stop ‘doing’ and start ‘being’. In the physical stillness that followed my thoughts initially became manic, unconscious thought began to rise through the fog to be heard, conscious thoughts vied for attention, the ego stubbornly struggled to stay engaged and in control,  emotions stirred and made themselves felt, some for the first time. Underneath it all the quiet voice of the soul could be heard whispering direction and advice. Mental, emotional, spiritual turmoil ensued. Life seemed out of control and very challenging without the normal strategy of ‘doing’ something to shut everything up. Intrigued (and frightened) by the madness  flowing through my life I vowed to keep listening and determined not to fall back into my old coping mechanisms. I knew I couldn’t go back but I also didn’t know how to move forward. If you don’t know what to do  – do nothing…so I became very, very still and I learned to observe, listen and learn.

Emotions need only to be acknowledged honestly for them to be satisfied, but the mind needs to be heard. Excuses, contradictions, logical arguments, insane belief systems, all guide and camouflage the truth of spirit trying to express itself. Patiently, like trying to coax a shy kitten out of a hiding place you have to convince the soul that you mean no harm, that you will listen, that you are finally willing to act in its best interest. Slowly the relationship with my soul started to mend. I came to know myself in new ways; my triggers, my fears, my true pleasures, my motivations and my capacity to live a soulful, heart centered life. My intuitions grew stronger and more dependable, my knee jerk instinct to react lessened, I could breathe and wait, I didn’t take everything personally, my ego began to disengage from every exchange allowing my spirit the room to emerge. I began to feel peace. I began to feel creative as never before.

I have often wondered how my life would be if I could have brought this knowledge of life into my life in architecture and construction. Or into my life as the organic herb farmer. But it is what it is. All in good time. All exactly as it played out was important for the revealing of my soul in my life. I like the idea that we are Spiritual beings living a physical experience – but we also need to strive to empower our spiritual self otherwise we will find ourselves living soul-less materialistic physical lives burdened with the struggle and pain of trying to maintain an impermanent reality.

So how can you recognize when your soul is freely engaging in the process of your life? You feel purposeful, engaged, patient and satisfied. You realize you risk nothing by being fully present. You feel anywhere from a vague to a strong sense of connectedness, a remembering of a promise. You feel really big, unlimited, and optimistic. Limitations are part of a language you no longer speak. You are not overwhelmed by the physicality of your life. You feel nourished, nurtured and loved.

And with this awareness coursing through your life you feel the impulse to nourish, nurture and love others.

Finding Balance

Trying to find balance is very tricky to say the least and something that needs constant attention. It is challenging for almost everyone though it is entirely possible to achieve. We just have to be able to understand the conditions and requirements that would define balance and harmony for ourselves.

In our ‘super human’ mode we think we can take it all in, do everything that crosses our mind and look after all the relevant details to boot. In trying to be all things to all people we tend to ignore the one that counts the most. People most often neglect their own needs and requirements, falling instead for the little ego boost that comes with praise from others. I tell people all the time that you came here to live your own experience, your own life and it is everyone’s responsibility to do just that. People generally cock their heads to one side and ask what I mean by that. ” But that’s being selfish…and selfish is bad…right?” Wrong.

We must come to take time and our time on earth seriously. Life is precious and it is irresponsible to squander away your time and life energy  doing things that threaten the quality of your life and health. Only from a healthy state of mind and body are you able to be of any help, spiritually, emotionally, mentally or physically, to anyone else.

But balance is more than just time management, it is ultimately about worthiness and value. Our need to feel like we matter is our greatest vulnerability. Everyone, no matter who they are, wants to be respected and valued. These are deeply emotional issues and touch us deeply in our core. Every day I hear people complain how they weren’t respected, listened to, valued, or appreciated, not at home, work or in friendships.

It is very challenging in our modern culture to find equal exchange of value for worthiness. It is difficult to acknowledge prowess, accomplishment and success in another if we feel in any way inferior or inadequate in comparison. We tend to sit on an emotional teeter totter, constantly weighing one thing against the other as though any one moment in time is an accurate measurement of what we are all about. Worthiness is an issue that is measured and balanced out over time; over a life time even. Our biggest mistake is thinking that one single event in time has the power to make or break our value as a worthy human being. Help yourself by accepting yourself in every moment. Start by understanding your motivation, your triggers, your strengths and weaknesses, and be responsible for your choices. These few things will help you understand your true worthiness and allow you to experience value on a daily basis.

Learn to lighten up, cut yourself some slack and make sure you do something everyday that you love.

A New Leaf

There comes a time when we have to make changes. I know making changes is difficult. It is the human way to become attached – to everything. But as we learn, as we grow, it is important to portray ourselves on the outside in ways that reflect the changes we are going through on the inside. My friends and clients that have known me for many years of my business journey tease me about the way my business image keeps changing every few years. It’s true…at least on the surface. Changing is what my business is all about. Whether it’s with the Reiki, the Metaphysics Workshops, the Living Well Seminars, or my articles, it’s all about helping people stimulate, create, and maintain the changes they want to manifest in their lives. Likewise for myself.

We’re all looking for happiness and peace of mind. What that means is different for each one of us. How that looks on the outside may be  different but in the end we all want the same things; we want to be heard, we want to matter, and we want to be accepted. These elements are the root of all the changes we ever try to implement in our lives. They are the essence of all that it means to be human. It is perhaps even the common purpose that binds us and in the same moment propels the evolution of humanity forward.

Gregg Braden identified the three common fears of mankind to be i) a fear of surrender, ii) a fear of loss of self-worth, and iii) a fear of abandonment. We spend our lives doing what we need to do to try to overcome these fears. We strive to leave a mark in this world that survives our death.

Change is an interesting illusion of our minds. I’m not sure that we ever really change in our core. I believe we are what we are. I also believe that we don’t always know what we are and can spend a lifetime trying to find out. We can get so side tracked in life that we can head off on a path at a very early age that can leave us lost for a long time. To make sense out of a life we feel disconnected from we buy into and build up all the trappings that make us appear to be solid citizens. Eventually that solid looking box begins to crack and disintegrate leaving us confused, angry and afraid if we continue trying to hold on to it.

Everything in our world is impermanent. Everything material and physical changes. Our physical body will also change and die. But spirit lives on. I’m not talking about reincarnation here. I’m talking about the spirit of humanity, the spirit of the Divine Principle, the spirit of God. Our essential purpose is to live that spirit as fully as possible within the expression we are.

And so we change, everyday, trying to be more fully what we are. As the days go by we either choose to do things differently, letting go of everything that no longer fits or we choose to hold on tighter, trying to create a reality that would fool the best of them. It is the heart that will guide you towards the changes you want, and your mind will decide if you do or don’t. If there is disharmony between the heart and mind you will stay locked in a battle that will seep toxicity into all areas of your life. Change doesn’t have to be cruel or harsh. If we decide to make changes freely and easily, consulting with our heart and mind, we can make smaller, incremental changes that reflect our truth, stimulate our passion and empower our presence in the world.

My new business logo and image are reflective of a new lighter, brighter sense of myself and my work. The truth is I’m all about growth, all about change, all about turning a New Leaf! More than anything though I am committed to doing what I have to do to build a harmonious relationship between my heart and my mind so all of me can go peacefully in one direction.