New Leaf Mentoring … new thought. new health. new life.

Archive for the ‘Healing’ Category

Finding Balance


Trying to find balance is very tricky to say the least and something that needs constant attention. It is challenging for almost everyone though it is entirely possible to achieve. We just have to be able to understand the conditions and requirements that would define balance and harmony for ourselves.

In our ‘super human’ mode we think we can take it all in, do everything that crosses our mind and look after all the relevant details to boot. In trying to be all things to all people we tend to ignore the one that counts the most. People most often neglect their own needs and requirements, falling instead for the little ego boost that comes with praise from others. I tell people all the time that you came here to live your own experience, your own life and it is everyone’s responsibility to do just that. People generally cock their heads to one side and ask what I mean by that. ” But that’s being selfish…and selfish is bad…right?” Wrong.

We must come to take time and our time on earth seriously. Life is precious and it is irresponsible to squander away your time and life energy  doing things that threaten the quality of your life and health. Only from a healthy state of mind and body are you able to be of any help, spiritually, emotionally, mentally or physically, to anyone else.

But balance is more than just time management, it is ultimately about worthiness and value. Our need to feel like we matter is our greatest vulnerability. Everyone, no matter who they are, wants to be respected and valued. These are deeply emotional issues and touch us deeply in our core. Every day I hear people complain how they weren’t respected, listened to, valued, or appreciated, not at home, work or in friendships.

It is very challenging in our modern culture to find equal exchange of value for worthiness. It is difficult to acknowledge prowess, accomplishment and success in another if we feel in any way inferior or inadequate in comparison. We tend to sit on an emotional teeter totter, constantly weighing one thing against the other as though any one moment in time is an accurate measurement of what we are all about. Worthiness is an issue that is measured and balanced out over time; over a life time even. Our biggest mistake is thinking that one single event in time has the power to make or break our value as a worthy human being. Help yourself by accepting yourself in every moment. Start by understanding your motivation, your triggers, your strengths and weaknesses, and be responsible for your choices. These few things will help you understand your true worthiness and allow you to experience value on a daily basis.

Learn to lighten up, cut yourself some slack and make sure you do something everyday that you love.

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Healing

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A New Leaf


There comes a time when we have to make changes. I know making changes is difficult. It is the human way to become attached – to everything. But as we learn, as we grow, it is important to portray ourselves on the outside in ways that reflect the changes we are going through on the inside. My friends and clients that have known me for many years of my business journey tease me about the way my business image keeps changing every few years. It’s true…at least on the surface. Changing is what my business is all about. Whether it’s with the Reiki, the Metaphysics Workshops, the Living Well Seminars, or my articles, it’s all about helping people stimulate, create, and maintain the changes they want to manifest in their lives. Likewise for myself.

We’re all looking for happiness and peace of mind. What that means is different for each one of us. How that looks on the outside may be  different but in the end we all want the same things; we want to be heard, we want to matter, and we want to be accepted. These elements are the root of all the changes we ever try to implement in our lives. They are the essence of all that it means to be human. It is perhaps even the common purpose that binds us and in the same moment propels the evolution of humanity forward.

Gregg Braden identified the three common fears of mankind to be i) a fear of surrender, ii) a fear of loss of self-worth, and iii) a fear of abandonment. We spend our lives doing what we need to do to try to overcome these fears. We strive to leave a mark in this world that survives our death.

Change is an interesting illusion of our minds. I’m not sure that we ever really change in our core. I believe we are what we are. I also believe that we don’t always know what we are and can spend a lifetime trying to find out. We can get so side tracked in life that we can head off on a path at a very early age that can leave us lost for a long time. To make sense out of a life we feel disconnected from we buy into and build up all the trappings that make us appear to be solid citizens. Eventually that solid looking box begins to crack and disintegrate leaving us confused, angry and afraid if we continue trying to hold on to it.

Everything in our world is impermanent. Everything material and physical changes. Our physical body will also change and die. But spirit lives on. I’m not talking about reincarnation here. I’m talking about the spirit of humanity, the spirit of the Divine Principle, the spirit of God. Our essential purpose is to live that spirit as fully as possible within the expression we are.

And so we change, everyday, trying to be more fully what we are. As the days go by we either choose to do things differently, letting go of everything that no longer fits or we choose to hold on tighter, trying to create a reality that would fool the best of them. It is the heart that will guide you towards the changes you want, and your mind will decide if you do or don’t. If there is disharmony between the heart and mind you will stay locked in a battle that will seep toxicity into all areas of your life. Change doesn’t have to be cruel or harsh. If we decide to make changes freely and easily, consulting with our heart and mind, we can make smaller, incremental changes that reflect our truth, stimulate our passion and empower our presence in the world.

My new business logo and image are reflective of a new lighter, brighter sense of myself and my work. The truth is I’m all about growth, all about change, all about turning a New Leaf! More than anything though I am committed to doing what I have to do to build a harmonious relationship between my heart and my mind so all of me can go peacefully in one direction.

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Healing

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Be happy, go lucky!


Personally I lead a very quiet, ordered kind of life. It’s pretty peaceful, respectful and happy. I consider myself very lucky but that said I work hard at it and I learn a lot from listening to other peoples stories. I really believe in the saying ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ and it’s humbling to remember and remind oneself that what is in me is in you and in all living things. I don’t believe for a minute that the things that befall one unfortunate soul can’t happen to everyone equally including me. I also believe that I am equally as fortunate as anyone else. Universe is an equal opportunity provider and I’ve come to believe that the only thing that makes some people happy and some people so miserably unhappy is their outlook and approach to all the daily details. Shit happens – a lot, and to everyone. For some people though it just slides off and for others, well, it just sticks. Being happy and feeling lucky is a state of mind that must be cultivated if you want to experience it. Likewise being miserable, expecting the worse, being suspicious will absolutely bring you lots of experiences that reflect exactly that.

Lucky doesn’t just happen.  There are no mysteries in life. We live in a cause and effect universe, everything starts somewhere, and everything causes some other chain of events to unfold. We are always at the right place at the right time whether we like to see it that way or not, and you are co-creating your life in every moment, in other words; you are nobody’s victim. Have you noticed how the same people always have the same drama around the same issues and use the same words that start with ‘I can’t…’ and end with ‘do it, believe it, change it, be bothered, etc.’ and they’re always surprised by it. They’re stuck in a learning loop, in effect they can’t move on until they get this piece of the puzzle – whatever the ‘piece’ may be and so they are doomed to repeat a pattern over and over. Repeating patterns can make people feel very unlucky, but muttering frustrated laments like “this always happen to me!” will only get the next wave rolling in again.

The learning loop is of course created through the Law of Attraction. Whatever you believe in you will see manifested over and over until you choose to believe differently. Whatever you affirm will be. The universe will mirror back to you everything you expect to see or need to learn about. The conundrum however is that what we see repeated over and over is pretty hard to ignore and believe differently about. The more it is repeated the harder it is to believe that we still have the power to change it. So round and round we go.

There are no isolated, random events. Everything is connected somehow but we don’t necessarily have a scope of vision that is big enough to understand how all the pieces fit together. I have come to trust that eventually all is revealed if we wait long enough. The patterns are there to serve us. If we experience something often enough, we hopefully begin to see the way to change it as we come into better understanding of the beast. I hate seeing people struggle through difficulties and feel for their pain but I also have faith that the human spirit is indomitable and can survive fantastic perils when he is committed to living life.

Life belongs to those that grab hold of it with both hands and go for the ride seizing opportunities wherever possible to experience something new. Bravely facing life with a positive, happy and adventurous outlook will create many lucky opportunities as you go!

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Healing

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Emotional Responsibility


In the healing business you can expect to hear a ton of stories about the pain, suffering and abuse people endure. It’s a vital part of the healing process for people to share their stories and release repressed and suppressed emotions out of their bodies and energy fields . Many alternative and complementary modalities are based on doing precisely just that; releasing repressed emotions out of the body. Held in emotions of shame, anger, grief, worry, fear can play havoc on a body’s immune system and eventually lead to a whole host of physical problems. And although it is shocking to hear some of the outrageous things people are capable of perpetrating against one another it never fails to amaze me how easily and willing we are to hurt someone else. It’s not just the act, but the desire to cause hurt comes so easily to so many people.

It seems to be human nature that when we hurt we need and want others to feel the same pain. It’s that old adage: Misery loves company. But bottom line it is grossly unfair and spiritually irresponsible to draw others into our negative emotion cycles. We don’t have the right to make others miserable because we don’t want or can’t find the way to resolve our own emotional pain. If your intention is to heal your wounds and you are willing to trust another to guide you back to the land of the positive then share as honestly and as openly as you can. But if all you really want is to feel validated in your misery and insist on recruiting sympathies against the person you are mad at you are abusing your confidant. Of course in that moment you don’t really get how abusive it is, all you’re focused on, in that moment, is the need to spread the grief. Wallowing in pain however is a dead end street. It gets you nowhere. And you will find that eventually you will be standing nowhere all alone!

Depression is one thing, but spinning in a bad mood and trying to take every one else down with you is another. We have a moral and ethical responsibility to others, especially the ones we love, to try to stay as positive as possible. I don’t mean being cheerful when you feel angry, worried and confused. Using negative words, being argumentative, picking fights, goading others into being nasty, demeaning others just to vent your aggravation is cruel and harmful for all parties concerned or bitterly trying to convince others to gang up on another. We live in an over stressed society, to add to another’s stress level is incouragable. We need to try harder to be genuinely nice to people. They deserve it. Strangers we meet out on the street don’t deserve to be treated with rudeness, disrespect or aggressive bad behaviour no matter how they treat us. Be the bigger person! We need to treat others with kindness, respect and friendliness.

Another old saying is ‘if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all’ but let’s face it, how can you find justice without complaint? So if you are truly looking for justice ask yourself this; ‘can this person I’m talking to help me understand what’s going on and am I truly looking for resolution – or am I just bitching to anyone who is too polite to hang up the phone or walk away from me while I rant?’ Words and emotions have energy. We use them to create effect in other people. Before you go shooting off your mouth hold some awareness about the power you are wielding. Loose tongues cut deeply – and in the end it will be you that falls with greatest pain.

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Healing

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Just Let Go and Jump!


I am so excited about Spring! I feel creative, productive, and just plain happy! And you know why? I practiced what I preach.That makes me feel good too!

Last year was a very emotionally difficult year. It felt like everything I believed in, from philosophy to friendships was being stripped away from me. Everything about my life came under scrutiny and everything was subject to being tossed out. I moved to Campbellford in 1999 and quickly created a strong community among the many like minded people here. I developed a few very special friendships, was able to keep growing in my work and was able to teach to many fine eager students. For 10 years my family thrived and grew strong; each successful in their own right. Everything was going well until suddenly it wasn’t. Truth is, it wasn’t sudden at all! There was a growing malcontent and disorder arising in my world which I didn’t know how to curb. I sensed it, I tried to calm it, I engaged and fought with it, and I even tried to ignore it. But I knew better. The ship was going down and I didn’t really understand why. So I just tried to save things, and kept going like normal. When we try to hold on too long, trying to ignore the pain, and not stand up for ourselves it starts to hurt really bad; emotionally, mentally and physically!

In the end I could only do what I know how to do. I had to let go! And I mean of everything! By the end I didn’t have the faintest clue what to save and what not to save so I had to throw it all to the wind. I was willing to let anything and everything go that had to in order to stop the pain and the sadness, from my marriage, to my kids, to my home, to my friends, to my work, to my writing, to my philosophies, in short everything that I had built my identity around in my whole life. I didn’t know what all needed to be released, I just knew that anything that was not for my highest good had to go. So layer by layer, piece by piece, I lessened my need to control, my need to be loved, my need to be nurtured, my need to be understood, my need to be right, my need to know, my need to be the teacher-healer extraordinaire, my need to save and make everything better and on and on…where ever I could identify a personal need I worked to lessen my attachment to it.

Systematically, one by one, I felt aspects of my life fall away, friends I had cared deeply for, aquaintances, workshops, pass times, interests, and beliefs. Worst of all was all my creativity with my writing dried up. And things got very quiet. The drama stopped. And things stayed quiet for a long time. I had no creative energy, no spark, no fire, I started playing games online…then one day I noticed I also didn’t have any pain anymore. Slowly I became aware of what wasn’t changing; my family, my life philosophies, my work had found a new depth and a renewed sense of purpose. Out of the blue I started writing again…better than before!

Today I am renewed! Charged with the vital life force energy of Spring! I am driven in my calling, loved by people I love, people I respect and admire! My home is my haven…for now!

10 Years ago I took a leap of faith when we moved to a small town 3 hours away from anyone I knew to a future I couldn’t imagine. It worked! Today I am grateful that I Let go! This is the 4th time in my life I have jumped – no bungie cord or anything. Each time I jump I land in a better place than where I was. Each time letting go has made room for so many blessings, so many new people, so many opportunities, and so much joy. So go ahead let go and jump! It will only hurt for a minute – in the grand scheme of things! I highly recommend it!!

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Healing

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There’s nothing like a good story!


Isn’t it true? Don’t you love them? I love to hear stories.

I hear them all day long, everyone I meet tells me one. Never mind…everyone I meet I tell one to! I think stories – both the hearing and the telling of them, are vital to living a healthy life. Sadly it’s becoming a forgotten art. Weird eh? You’d think that in this age of telecommunication devices that we would be more able to communicate stories better. But this isn’t so. Everyday I meet people simply dying to tell me a piece of their story. Even though most people have difficulty getting started it doesn’t usually take very long before the flood gates open and, well, then anything is liable to happen!

We tell stories for all kinds of reasons, to share, to uplift, to inspire, to create empathy, sympathy, pity. We tell stories to create fear, to intimidate, to cause worry but mainly we tell stories just to be heard. We want someone to witness the exciting and the mundane happenings of our lives. When I meet a client in pain, physical pain or emotional pain, I can guarantee you they have a story they’ve never told anyone! Or maybe even more importantly, a story that hadn’t been heard yet.

In my work I often tell stories to encourage people to tell me theirs. Life matters. The experiences of our lives matter. What we think, what we feel, what we do  – it all matters. We are all connected, what happens to me affects you. None of us is separate. We are more the same than we are different. Hence, hearing a story can be a cathartic experience. Every story triggers another.

We sit in a precarious place in our society today. We are ambitious, fast paced and busy. We don’t sit around the dinner table (what’s a ‘dinner table’ again?) telling stories very often. Our culture is not founded in story telling like in generations past. Historically, around the globe, cultures were established and held together by their stories reflecting religious, spiritual and ethical belief systems. Generations of people and their stories have been lost around the world through genocide, persecution and war. Through the loss of their stories entire cultures disappeared from our history books, when the story chain is broken we all suffer.

Today we risk losing touch with one another; polite inquiries, courteous answers, no depth, no attachment. We lose sight of what matters. So let me remind you; our humanity matters, our empathy for our fellow man matters. In the rush to get on our way to do something we forget how to just be. In the isolation caused by running in different directions we forget to tell stories and quietly shift into keeping secrets. When we forget that our stories matter to the people we love we start believing that we have nothing important to say. When we keep all our business to our selves we start believing that we are entitled to our own private, isolated lives. We start behaving as though our actions have no impact on those around us. But this is impaired judgment. Our actions always have ramifications. Keeping the secrets doesn’t prevent hurt from happening – it just causes confusion, doubt, anxiety and frustration.

Telling our stories – about anything, and listening to stories allows people to feel worthy. It creates connections between souls. When stories are told from the heart with genuine interest and emotion they can build bridges. People feel safer in the world when they can tell their stories. They feel they belong to something bigger. We all  – everyone of us  – just want to be understood and witnessed. Repressed stories, feelings, or emotions create a bottle neck of energy that eventually let’s go in a torrential out pouring – often causing immeasurable harm. Tell your stories before someone gets hurt. Listen to the stories of others.

Today I went to a women’s business networking group – I heard many great stories, and told a few myself. It was a great day!

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Healing

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Forever Questing…It’s the only way!


As children, my siblings and I were taught to question everything. My Father drilled into us to not ever just believe anything. All trust, all faith had to be earned; even then it was up for discussion. For the most part this philosophy has guided me well. Today I use this philosophy to guide me in my discovery with reiki and metaphysics and even in raising my kids. Because of this questing nature I have a hard time just blindly accepting all the anecdotal information that pours out unreservedly from spiritually minded people. It is so interesting to me how easily smart, educated people will accept the same old ideas no matter how fantastic, without ever asking ‘Really?…are you serious?‘ and believe me I have had no shortage of unbelievable stories in my life. It’s not that I’m really all that skeptical, (OK – maybe I am) but I prefer to think of it as curious. I was that kid that had to ask ‘why?’ a million times a day and I have kept asking why as my life unfolds. The really cool thing is that there is ALWAYS an answer for the why question. Sometimes the answer leads to another question that starts with ‘but if…’ and sometimes it ends with an ‘Oh! I get it!’ and sometimes hearing the answer is all you really need to recognize that you knew the truth all along. Sometimes the truth is simply the hardest thing to hear.

But I have learned that just the asking begins the unraveling of the mystery. Afterall, life isn’t really mysterious, we live in a dualistic cause and effect world and reality is built on building blocks of information. I find that the biggest block to understanding what is really going on in any situation is usually 2 fold. Firstly, we like to wear our favourite coloured glasses (they could be rose coloured or grey coloured or blue or green etc.) to make sure that everything we look at is viewed with the same shading of belief (rosy, hopeless, depressed, envious etc) which keeps life comfortable and relatively predictable; and secondly we keep our blinders firmly glued to the sides of our heads to keep our scope of vision nicely limited. By limiting what we are exposed to we think we can control the path our life will take.

Let’s face it, processing new information is consuming work. You gotta’ think…HARD even sometimes! And furthermore, sometimes those thoughts are going to land you in some unpopular place and we all know how hard that can be. We learned as kids that it is way easier being popular than different. These two popular and fashionable (and by that I mean common) accessories work reasonably well to keep the path ahead uncluttered of unexpected obstacles and doubts. Everything goes along as expected, well that is until one day it suddenly doesn’t. Suddenly, one day, out of the blue, an unexpected terror blocks the road. Death, illness, financial loss, or even extreme boredom appears and screams at us to get off the road! Take a detour! Change your mind! Change your ways! And we stall, dumbfounded, confused and before we know what’s happening we ask ‘Why?’ and the quest begins.

In that moment Universe presents to us an option. Sometimes the one road changes into a very clear forked path and we are forced to choose this way or that way. Other times it seems we are tricked to follow a different path with things that seem to glitter and shine with promises that turn out to be fool’s gold. And other times, we don’t know why, we suddenly veer off into the underbrush following some kind of white rabbit that takes us on a journey we will never forget. However it happens we will, at sometime in our lives, find ourselves on the road less traveled. If we want we can squat down on the road we are on and stubbornly refuse to budge. We can stay there, live there and eventually die there without ever having to change one single thought, peacefully polishing our glasses and re-gluing our blinders every day but this isn’t life.

Life is meant to be lived and experienced not only survived. Only a new choice will quicken the heart and spark the mind. Only choosing a new road will tease the Spirit Within to awaken with groggy interest.  And once on that new road we have to embrace that we are indeed thinking, reasoning, independent creatures of consciousness meant to exercise our inherent right to choose. Our survival will be determined by our choices, our reactions, our resistance/acceptance of the new. Our happiness determine by our bravery, commitment and creativity.

And so life is lived; questing, challenging,  defeating enemies of the one true heart, embracing the unknown, and conquering fears. We are then rewarded with riches untold, unlimited love, and strength of a thousand elephants. After we have quested we come to know the stuff we are made of. We know then that we are strong enough to ask ‘Why?..’ with the innocence of a child and the wisdom of the oldest sage.

So this blog is for asking ‘why..?.’ or ‘what if…?’ or ‘how..?.’ I am every bit as curious as I was when I was 5, except now I have a car, a computer and bigger reality. Today my world and indeed my universe is much, much bigger and so are my questions and thus my experiences.

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Healing

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Hello Everyone!


After visiting many blog sites I realized that, as usual, I too have something to say! This is really going to be an organic experience but all the same, I’m sure something worthwhile will evolve out of it!

My hope is to create some conversation that will further the expansion of healing consciousness.

Category:

Healing