New Leaf Mentoring … new thought. new health. new life.

Posts tagged ‘positive’

Living Without Excuses; Dare to Be YOU!


I realized one day that the people I admire the most are the ones that live their lives without excuses. They are respectful,     positive minded, energetic, kind people and the reason is simple; they aren’t trying to prove anything to anyone. They know who they are and they just go about living their lives doing what they do.

It is ingrained in us to look and ask for approval. As children we learn that good behavior is rewarded with praise of some sort and it feels better than being criticized. We also learn that one easy trick to avoiding criticism is to make up a story that seemingly excuses our actions. As we grow we not only become adept at making excuses to others and ourselves but also come to expect and accept them in our daily dealings with others. We become unaccountable for our thoughts and actions, in effect leading double lives.

A few years ago I saw Marianne Williamson speak. She’s a powerful speaker with a strong belief in her message. She spoke on her book “A Return to Love”. Often when speakers talk about love and peace they approach the subject with a sugar-coated countenance. Not Ms. Williamson! She delivered all the passion, power, determination and strength that I know love delivers to my heart. She never once apologized for her beliefs or her commitments. She stood up for herself and made herself accountable for her message and accountable in her life.

Most of the people I see as clients have lost their compass in life. They don’t know how to step forward, confused in their own minds they are often afraid of hurting others and stepping on other peoples’ toes. In trying to establish value in their lives they do more and more for others, further compromising themselves with every step they take. Eventually because they have allowed so many others to take up precious space in their minds they find themselves crowded to death with no room left to move. Unable to make their own choices without stepping on someone else’s toes they start apologizing for offending, for hurting, for questioning, even for being themselves. Depression is the only end result as we slowly come to realize that we are in danger of losing our selves.

We need to each claim ourselves back from the land of the excuses. Live boldly. Feel your own two legs under you and see them marching to the beat of your own drum. We each came here to live our own lives, our own way, in our own rhythm, so don’t make excuses for your life choices. Just live your life bravely with intention. Dare to be you!

Be happy, go lucky!


Personally I lead a very quiet, ordered kind of life. It’s pretty peaceful, respectful and happy. I consider myself very lucky but that said I work hard at it and I learn a lot from listening to other peoples stories. I really believe in the saying ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ and it’s humbling to remember and remind oneself that what is in me is in you and in all living things. I don’t believe for a minute that the things that befall one unfortunate soul can’t happen to everyone equally including me. I also believe that I am equally as fortunate as anyone else. Universe is an equal opportunity provider and I’ve come to believe that the only thing that makes some people happy and some people so miserably unhappy is their outlook and approach to all the daily details. Shit happens – a lot, and to everyone. For some people though it just slides off and for others, well, it just sticks. Being happy and feeling lucky is a state of mind that must be cultivated if you want to experience it. Likewise being miserable, expecting the worse, being suspicious will absolutely bring you lots of experiences that reflect exactly that.

Lucky doesn’t just happen.  There are no mysteries in life. We live in a cause and effect universe, everything starts somewhere, and everything causes some other chain of events to unfold. We are always at the right place at the right time whether we like to see it that way or not, and you are co-creating your life in every moment, in other words; you are nobody’s victim. Have you noticed how the same people always have the same drama around the same issues and use the same words that start with ‘I can’t…’ and end with ‘do it, believe it, change it, be bothered, etc.’ and they’re always surprised by it. They’re stuck in a learning loop, in effect they can’t move on until they get this piece of the puzzle – whatever the ‘piece’ may be and so they are doomed to repeat a pattern over and over. Repeating patterns can make people feel very unlucky, but muttering frustrated laments like “this always happen to me!” will only get the next wave rolling in again.

The learning loop is of course created through the Law of Attraction. Whatever you believe in you will see manifested over and over until you choose to believe differently. Whatever you affirm will be. The universe will mirror back to you everything you expect to see or need to learn about. The conundrum however is that what we see repeated over and over is pretty hard to ignore and believe differently about. The more it is repeated the harder it is to believe that we still have the power to change it. So round and round we go.

There are no isolated, random events. Everything is connected somehow but we don’t necessarily have a scope of vision that is big enough to understand how all the pieces fit together. I have come to trust that eventually all is revealed if we wait long enough. The patterns are there to serve us. If we experience something often enough, we hopefully begin to see the way to change it as we come into better understanding of the beast. I hate seeing people struggle through difficulties and feel for their pain but I also have faith that the human spirit is indomitable and can survive fantastic perils when he is committed to living life.

Life belongs to those that grab hold of it with both hands and go for the ride seizing opportunities wherever possible to experience something new. Bravely facing life with a positive, happy and adventurous outlook will create many lucky opportunities as you go!