New Leaf Mentoring … new thought. new health. new life.

Posts tagged ‘empowerment’

Freeing the Soul into your Life


I am a high-achiever and I am ambitious. It’s my nature. When I was younger I was strongly motivated by praise and approval from others, today I strive for excellence regardless of the praise or approval I receive from others. Over time I began to see that my path differed uniquely from the path of others and began to understand that my happiness depended on me owning my own authority. I began to learn to listen to my own soul to guide me towards my right path.

In the beginning listening to my soul was tricky because I didn’t know how to do it – we weren’t in a good relationship. I had never considered that my soul would have a different story than my ego self did. My mind, my emotions and my soul coexisted within this physical body of mine but no-body was communicating with the other bodies. Until I discovered the presence of each body with in my whole expression the channels of communication went something like this: my mind working in cahoots with my ego self would make executive decisions on behalf of the whole, the emotions would react accordingly and the physical body would act out with strength or with pain as it could to support the whole body consensus. As you can imagine, and probably identify with, there was considerable unrest in the house at all times. Pain in my body made me stop ‘doing’ and start ‘being’. In the physical stillness that followed my thoughts initially became manic, unconscious thought began to rise through the fog to be heard, conscious thoughts vied for attention, the ego stubbornly struggled to stay engaged and in control,  emotions stirred and made themselves felt, some for the first time. Underneath it all the quiet voice of the soul could be heard whispering direction and advice. Mental, emotional, spiritual turmoil ensued. Life seemed out of control and very challenging without the normal strategy of ‘doing’ something to shut everything up. Intrigued (and frightened) by the madness  flowing through my life I vowed to keep listening and determined not to fall back into my old coping mechanisms. I knew I couldn’t go back but I also didn’t know how to move forward. If you don’t know what to do  – do nothing…so I became very, very still and I learned to observe, listen and learn.

Emotions need only to be acknowledged honestly for them to be satisfied, but the mind needs to be heard. Excuses, contradictions, logical arguments, insane belief systems, all guide and camouflage the truth of spirit trying to express itself. Patiently, like trying to coax a shy kitten out of a hiding place you have to convince the soul that you mean no harm, that you will listen, that you are finally willing to act in its best interest. Slowly the relationship with my soul started to mend. I came to know myself in new ways; my triggers, my fears, my true pleasures, my motivations and my capacity to live a soulful, heart centered life. My intuitions grew stronger and more dependable, my knee jerk instinct to react lessened, I could breathe and wait, I didn’t take everything personally, my ego began to disengage from every exchange allowing my spirit the room to emerge. I began to feel peace. I began to feel creative as never before.

I have often wondered how my life would be if I could have brought this knowledge of life into my life in architecture and construction. Or into my life as the organic herb farmer. But it is what it is. All in good time. All exactly as it played out was important for the revealing of my soul in my life. I like the idea that we are Spiritual beings living a physical experience – but we also need to strive to empower our spiritual self otherwise we will find ourselves living soul-less materialistic physical lives burdened with the struggle and pain of trying to maintain an impermanent reality.

So how can you recognize when your soul is freely engaging in the process of your life? You feel purposeful, engaged, patient and satisfied. You realize you risk nothing by being fully present. You feel anywhere from a vague to a strong sense of connectedness, a remembering of a promise. You feel really big, unlimited, and optimistic. Limitations are part of a language you no longer speak. You are not overwhelmed by the physicality of your life. You feel nourished, nurtured and loved.

And with this awareness coursing through your life you feel the impulse to nourish, nurture and love others.

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Healing

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Tiny Drops – Giant Ripples


Whenever I start talking about environmental sustainability I have found that many people immediately hit the immensity of the problem with their smallness. We hate feeling small and ineffectual. When we feel we can’t make a difference we tend to avoid the issue. We turn back to our moderate lifestyles and try not to be part of the problem. We might not actively be part of the solution but we try to minimize our role in creating more problems. At least for a time, eventually old habits slip back in. Unfortunately, once we know something we can’t un-know it. We can try to forget it, stuff our new knowledge back into the furthest darkest corners of our consciousness, drowned it in consumer based habits, or turn to other indulgences. It seems that people hate rocking boats and that they resist any change that may upset their comfy cozy existence. This may be true on some obvious superficial level but underneath I choose to hopefully believe that people are boggled over the immensity of their problems and a pervasive societal based low self-esteem prevents them from believing that they can do anything worthwhile anyway so why bother. We need to ‘bother’ because tiny drops create giant ripples!

I live in a beautiful little town in south-eastern Ontario. Our town is divided by a notable water canal system and there is a pretty bridge with iron railings, ornate lamp posts, we have a ban on pesticide and herbicide use, tons of green space and trees, we even have a white gazebos in the park where we have local musicians perform every Wednesday. Many of our stores have window boxes, there are flowering hanging baskets, even trees have been planted down the main streets.  You see the pride of the residents and store owners as you drive through town. People are generally friendly and courteous when you meet on the street. We have had a couple of homeless people here – we knew them by name. Sounds very Norman Rockwall-ish doesn’t it? And sure we have crap, every community does, we just don’t seem to spread it around. It is strikingly orderly and clean here. We have the same community resource as other towns, but we also have another secret asset that perhaps other towns don’t have.

A Secret Asset

Over the years that I’ve lived here we have had 3 individuals that walk with garbage bags. You’ll see them if you get up early enough. They walk the streets and pick up litter. They are self-appointed volunteers that have taken it upon themselves to keep our town tidy. I’m not talking about big garbage, I’m talking about cigarette butts, gum wrappers, occasional coffee cups and water bottles, stray scrap paper and plastic that blew out of the garbage truck. Stuff that you would never even notice as you drove through town. But you notice the effect of their blessed work. They don’t do this for praise, they do it because they care.

This summer, if you were paying attention you would have noticed a small little miracle happen.

We have in our town a character who would customarily hang around the main intersections of town (we have 3 with lights) day after day, staggering around with obviously too much alcohol in his system and seemingly no other direction or purpose for his life. He would try to stay out of people’s way and was fairly quiet but still, as you came in over the bridge you would notice this fellow invariably staggering about, holding himself up on building or railings, or slouched over in the park in a stupor. It seems though that one day early this spring he must have noticed the other gentleman who walked the streets around the canal with his recyclable bag and garbage picker-upper-thingy because ‘our character’ started walking with him. For a few days they walked together, you never saw them talk much, but what do I know, they may have been solving all the problems of the world. Then one day ‘our character’ brought along a white pail and walked down the other side of the street. Together these two have been wandering around town now all spring and summer tidying up. If he drinks anymore, he does it privately, and I never see him just hanging around anymore, he walks with purpose, interest and liveliness, head held high.

The miracle part is that a small (perhaps even huge) though clear expansion of personal self-esteem happened through the tiniest measure of service to a greater whole. In service to our community, in picking up tiny scraps of garbage he found a purpose and ‘our character’ found – maybe re-found – his truest character. I appreciate him for his effort. I am grateful for his daily routine. I hope it continues to satisfy him for the good of us all and if it doesn’t I hope he finds something else that nurtures his self-esteem and makes him feel his worthiness. He has made me more self-aware! I am grateful for that too.

A Ripple Effect of  Service

There is nothing that can take away from a soul that feels dedicated and worthy in his purpose no matter how insignificant it may initially seem to be. When we have found a way to serve others we establish value, self-esteem and purpose. When we find our own value, self-esteem and purpose we feel empowered. In that empowerment we know that even the tiniest actions can make huge differences to the whole. In empowerment we know when to join others for greater and greater effect. All of a sudden we stop being small. The ripple effect is incredible. Mind you if you do anything for praise and accolades of approval I fear you will be sorely disappointed. If your motivation comes from outside approval you will stay forever vulnerable to the loss of it. You will exhaust yourself trying to maintain it and you will not feel the intense satisfaction of knowing your own true ego less value.

I’ve been accused of not giving enough praise, of not satisfying others ego with effusive approval. It’s true. It’s not my way. It’s not that I don’t appreciate talent, excellence and effort, I sure do, it’s that I’m very aware that talent, excellence and effort has to be self-generating. I don’t want anyone seeking my approval to do anything. I want them to do their thing for themselves not me.

Empowerment must come from within. Empowerment comes from knowing your self-worth and being able to make choices that benefit yourself, your loved ones and your community just because your know in your heart it is the right thing to do.

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Healing

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Finding Balance


Trying to find balance is very tricky to say the least and something that needs constant attention. It is challenging for almost everyone though it is entirely possible to achieve. We just have to be able to understand the conditions and requirements that would define balance and harmony for ourselves.

In our ‘super human’ mode we think we can take it all in, do everything that crosses our mind and look after all the relevant details to boot. In trying to be all things to all people we tend to ignore the one that counts the most. People most often neglect their own needs and requirements, falling instead for the little ego boost that comes with praise from others. I tell people all the time that you came here to live your own experience, your own life and it is everyone’s responsibility to do just that. People generally cock their heads to one side and ask what I mean by that. ” But that’s being selfish…and selfish is bad…right?” Wrong.

We must come to take time and our time on earth seriously. Life is precious and it is irresponsible to squander away your time and life energy  doing things that threaten the quality of your life and health. Only from a healthy state of mind and body are you able to be of any help, spiritually, emotionally, mentally or physically, to anyone else.

But balance is more than just time management, it is ultimately about worthiness and value. Our need to feel like we matter is our greatest vulnerability. Everyone, no matter who they are, wants to be respected and valued. These are deeply emotional issues and touch us deeply in our core. Every day I hear people complain how they weren’t respected, listened to, valued, or appreciated, not at home, work or in friendships.

It is very challenging in our modern culture to find equal exchange of value for worthiness. It is difficult to acknowledge prowess, accomplishment and success in another if we feel in any way inferior or inadequate in comparison. We tend to sit on an emotional teeter totter, constantly weighing one thing against the other as though any one moment in time is an accurate measurement of what we are all about. Worthiness is an issue that is measured and balanced out over time; over a life time even. Our biggest mistake is thinking that one single event in time has the power to make or break our value as a worthy human being. Help yourself by accepting yourself in every moment. Start by understanding your motivation, your triggers, your strengths and weaknesses, and be responsible for your choices. These few things will help you understand your true worthiness and allow you to experience value on a daily basis.

Learn to lighten up, cut yourself some slack and make sure you do something everyday that you love.

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Healing

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