I tell myself things; things that I believe make a difference to not only how I live but also why I live. Determining what I believe has been a motivation and a quest all rolled into one. I have built and lost small fortunes, I have re-created myself a number of times professionally and personally, I have climbed spiritual mountains and it seems I have walked a million miles in pilgrimage to discover myself and try to understand the meaning of life but also the meaning of me in life. I have discovered that a driving force in my life is to make a difference. And I have told myself many stories to make it so.
I tell myself for instance, that I have a responsibility to be the best I can be. I came to this life, I thought, because I wanted to make a difference; a difference to myself, to others and indeed to the evolution of humanity. At least this seems to be a commonly accepted idea that that’s how it goes in the beginning – sometime before we have a brain and a physical body. I’m not convinced the soul thinks or plans or chooses as an individuated being but here I am none-the-less, sitting on planet Earth, at this point in history, with understanding of myself here and now, as well as in other past life experiences connected to this one, always thinking.
Driven Madly (or mad) by Purpose
There is an inherent quality within us that desperately wants this life we live to matter. We define it as “purpose”. We search for purpose and try to create it in our daily lives. All I know for sure is that this need to make a difference has driven me, as I know it has driven others. We seem compelled as individuals to believe that our lives matter, that the lives of our dearly departed also mattered to the grand scheme of things. As a collective we seem intent on aiding the conscious evolution of mankind. But I’m beginning to understand life differently; instead of me out there making a difference, I’m starting to think that maybe me in here is all the difference that is needed. My purpose isn’t something I have to do…it’s something I have to accept simply as already having happened just by the essential quality of me being. I AM and that is enough purpose.
Over the years I have stumble on some profound realizations. For instance, purpose often seems to stay elusive. Fact is purpose is so intimately connected to our ego that it can be very hard to release our need to have a purpose. The search itself is illusory; there doesn’t seem to be an answer beyond the quest. The true purpose seems to just ‘be’. In the ‘being’ we are still committed to evolving all the same. Evolving in our being-ness. Humanity evolves when we individually come to fully accept our truest essential being. Purpose arises out of our authenticity. Purpose does not create authenticity.
A Living Imperative
We are created out of a spiritual imperative to experience life. We are a fulcrum of energy that arises out of the breath of God itself, it instills in us in an embryological imperative in the very moment of conception and emerges throughout every possible expression we witness around us. Creation is a force of god consciousness, a sacred manifestation of attraction that is omniscient. A magnetic manifestation of organized energy that is naturally attractive to all symbiotic fields of energy.
And within this natural expression of being that I am, I am compelled to create. It is essential to my purest being to create, procreate and re-create. By nature I am a uniquely created being. Even my DNA is unique, an original manifestation of natural expression. And I believe it is this creative force of nature that determines that it is my soul purpose to continue creating my life as consciously and as uniquely as possible. My human questing mind working in concert with my beating heart transmits my creative possibility into our joint future, as does yours, and so life evolves.